I have noticed it for a year now. But more
so this year- the
surprises in store- the “growing me” – me as a parent and as a
person.
It
started with an obvious reason. There are phases of change that my daughter has
been (and is) going through. The “typical” teenager transformation you know! My
cute little caterpillar is turning in to a butterfly- a beautiful one- about to fly with her colorful wings.
Well
that’s a wonderful (and expected) thing for her, but what’s with the
transformation with me?
I ain’t no teenager with changing hormones!! Are her hormones controlling my
hormones? Is her transformation transforming me? May be it is; may be not!
For
me, one big change that transpired is in the way I think, interact
and communicate with others. Each time I communicate with her or others, I
now re-think whether my communication is
received the way I “intend”
it to be?!
I now try to add more clarity by re-framing my communication
before I finally send it out (textual/verbal).
I
usually ask her to be careful when she rides her bicycle for her classes.
What I actually mean is – I trust you and your riding skills but be safe
and watch out for others. But I fail to mention it that way. The irritated
“her” made me think why should care and a caring mother be a source of
irritation?
I
analyzed, and I soon realized, my communication sounded more like
an instruction; I have left the love, the care and the trust to be assumed
and understood by her. Not fair! Right?
Issue resolved; lesson learnt!
You know people are not mind readers. Say what you mean and mean what you say!
On the
joy ride to the transforming me – Let the transformation begin! 😊
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